So I have to say, there is one "celebrity" that I have HUGE issues with. Chris Crocker. I can darn near say I hate him really. Not because he's freaky, or out there, or whatever... it's because he's hateful and claims to be the voice of my generation, which is SO wrong. Anyway, the reason I brought him up is because I saw one of his videos today, and it made me remember one of my favorite quotes, which I heard at Campus Pride lol.
"Change must be deliberate and respectful." -Martin Luther King, Jr.
So many people want so much to be Malcolm X, or some other kind of bastion of radically free thought and liberation, and sometimes I love them for their fierce independence from what we adhere to as the "norm"... but when it comes down to it, it isn't an issue of conformity, or behavior, or politeness and acceptability. It's whether you can have that radical left wing idea and still be a mature functioning adult. People like Chris say "I'm here, I'm queer, and y'all better get used to it cuz I'm the next big thing honey" or whatever, and they cast a pall over the entire idea... but the people who put on that suit and go around creating those pro-LGBT legislations are nowhere near as eye-catching or out there as people like Chris, so fewer people are exposed to us behaving any differently... whether it's media portrayal, or the idea of the MTV generation and whatnot... I think I'm going to pay more attention to how I present myself as a leader, especially as it pertains to professionalism and respectfulness. I'd encourage others to do the same.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Filler
Well, I don't actually have any stories today, so I'll just toss out a favorite quote of mine, from The Boondocks:
Huey: "Granddad, what do you do when there's nothing you can do?"
Granddad: "You do what you can."
Yeah, I know it's a cartoon, but for some reason that quote is really powerful to me... one of those things that when it applies, it makes total sense.
Oh, and tomorrow I'm volunteering for the First Annual Sunride to benefit Camp Sunrise, which is a camp in Ohio that serves children ages 7-17 affected by HIV/AIDS... definitely a good cause, and an incredible community effort. I'd be more excited, but I'm tired and feeling blah. Still, I'll do what I can.
(Like how I tie it all back in all sneaky like?)
Huey: "Granddad, what do you do when there's nothing you can do?"
Granddad: "You do what you can."
Yeah, I know it's a cartoon, but for some reason that quote is really powerful to me... one of those things that when it applies, it makes total sense.
Oh, and tomorrow I'm volunteering for the First Annual Sunride to benefit Camp Sunrise, which is a camp in Ohio that serves children ages 7-17 affected by HIV/AIDS... definitely a good cause, and an incredible community effort. I'd be more excited, but I'm tired and feeling blah. Still, I'll do what I can.
(Like how I tie it all back in all sneaky like?)
Thursday, July 31, 2008
No News is Good News
So I didn't really do anything today... no catalogs, no applications, no Facebook business... I basically ignored all the e-mails. Emily said before she's worried I'm going to burn out, which I suppose is true. I just wanted to get as much out of the way as possible for First Week, and out of the way so I can slow down in the Fall a little, but I kind of feel like right now I have a good sized helping on my plate, really just waiting to hear back about Campus Q and seeing what all it entails... assuming I get the position. After I feel comfortable with Rainbow and Campus Q, I'll look at HRC and other local orgs and see if I want to take on more.
I'll be honest though, at first I was really mad when she voiced her concerns... well more hurt really. I took it as if to say that I couldn't handle it, and there were some other things that played in that I just won't talk about, because it really amounts to an emotional reaction, which wasn't the most mature. I'm still a little bothered by the whole thing, but I'm just going to move forward and deal with things as they come... for now I'm just going to slow down and wait for other people to catch up, and the things I'm doing for me I'll just keep to myself. Not as in secret, I mean more like not bring other people into it. I might just be more into these things than others, or maybe just want to commit more of myself to it than others. I would really love to do this kind of stuff for a career, because I would be so proud to tell people "This is what I do." For now though, I'm just going to go day to day and see where all this stuff takes me... which is funny, because as much as I complained about Campus Pride at first (see "too much kumbaya shit" a couple posts back) I don't think I would be on this track without it. I'm so excited to see what Creating Change has to offer though, it sounds like a very business-oriented conference, and I can't wait to see that side... and hopefully some old Campus Pride buddies will be there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and throw myself a concert and veg out on the internet like a regular 22 year old. Later blog!
I'll be honest though, at first I was really mad when she voiced her concerns... well more hurt really. I took it as if to say that I couldn't handle it, and there were some other things that played in that I just won't talk about, because it really amounts to an emotional reaction, which wasn't the most mature. I'm still a little bothered by the whole thing, but I'm just going to move forward and deal with things as they come... for now I'm just going to slow down and wait for other people to catch up, and the things I'm doing for me I'll just keep to myself. Not as in secret, I mean more like not bring other people into it. I might just be more into these things than others, or maybe just want to commit more of myself to it than others. I would really love to do this kind of stuff for a career, because I would be so proud to tell people "This is what I do." For now though, I'm just going to go day to day and see where all this stuff takes me... which is funny, because as much as I complained about Campus Pride at first (see "too much kumbaya shit" a couple posts back) I don't think I would be on this track without it. I'm so excited to see what Creating Change has to offer though, it sounds like a very business-oriented conference, and I can't wait to see that side... and hopefully some old Campus Pride buddies will be there.
Anyway, I'm going to go and throw myself a concert and veg out on the internet like a regular 22 year old. Later blog!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
One of Those Days...
So yeah, today kinda sucked. It's not really worth getting into, every day can't be a winner, today just hit harder because it's the first disheartening day I've had since being on this upward swing. BUT, the obstacles arise, and we overcome right? So that's what I'm going to do... or try. Right now lol my mood just says "Today's a shitty day, wallow for a bit."
On a brighter note, I haven't talked to one of the most important people in my life for months, and realized just a little bit ago that it's been almost a year since last we were together, so I called them and got their voicemail, and then wrote them a letter. Hopefully I can see them soon, I could use the pick me up.
On a brighter note, I haven't talked to one of the most important people in my life for months, and realized just a little bit ago that it's been almost a year since last we were together, so I called them and got their voicemail, and then wrote them a letter. Hopefully I can see them soon, I could use the pick me up.
Ugh... Emotions
Well, I finally wrote on everybody's wall who impacted me during Camp. I now realize also how socially awkward I am. Seriously, ask my friends, I suck at keeping open communication. I just get so busy in my own life that I neglect to make time for people who aren't right in my grill. So, this time I committed to telling everyone how much I appreciated them, and I feel like a stalker and a nerd. Lol, I just feel like everything I said wasn't natural, and came out forced or something. I just hope people don't think I was being fake nice... I just suck at being for real nice.
Anyway, I'm finding way too much that I like in this catalog, I'm gonna have to sit down with Emily sometime and discuss what people would most use, and also our budget. Tomorrow's goal is to go to the Campus Pride website and write down all the organizations it has listed there. Then, contact all of them to see how WSU can get involved, or just study what purpose they serve.
Oh my God, I'm out of here... seriously in the org complex the A/C is so high and blasting so hard, I'm shaking... like enough to make my stomach hurt. I can't believe I forgot my damn keys. Grr to you fate, grr.
Anyway, I'm finding way too much that I like in this catalog, I'm gonna have to sit down with Emily sometime and discuss what people would most use, and also our budget. Tomorrow's goal is to go to the Campus Pride website and write down all the organizations it has listed there. Then, contact all of them to see how WSU can get involved, or just study what purpose they serve.
Oh my God, I'm out of here... seriously in the org complex the A/C is so high and blasting so hard, I'm shaking... like enough to make my stomach hurt. I can't believe I forgot my damn keys. Grr to you fate, grr.
Sometimes All It Takes...
So this morning I got ready for work (12-4 today) and got to campus before 9 to work on Rainbow stuff, and I'll be here 'til after 6. So, that in mind, I grabbed every resource I got from Campus Pride that I could get my hands on, to maybe call HRC and see what they could send us to disseminate, and maybe see about calling local area high schools to get them the educational materials HRC has... but lo and behold, genius that I am, decided not to bring my keys because "Oh, Crystal has hers and she'll unlock the house when we get home." Oh wait, my keyring has both my house keys AND my office keys. So yeah, I can't get into the Rainbow office today. But, undeterred, I have set up in one of the pods in the student org complex (The Big Six have their own offices, but outside of these are "pods" which are basically desks set up for the smaller orgs, who aren't using them yet... or possibly ever). My plan now is to go through the Public IDentity catalog and highlight some promo items I find interesting... or just play some internet video games, I'm not sure.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Accomplishments
So today is off to a stronger start after an awkward night. First, allow me to wrap up the events of last night. Obviously, no I did not have sex with Adam. But lo and behold after I aplogize and as nicely as possible decline his offer, I go to check my Facebook and find that strangely enough, Matt is online. We talked for a while, about his status as a student, his life situation, and his health and moving to Colorado, fairly light conversation. Now Matt and I did date, and unfortunately it did not work out. For awhile, as is often the case, there were hard feelings and issues, but I feel that for the most part we have an understanding of what happened and what we were, and who we individually are now, which is a good thing. I invited him out to the charity bike ride which I will ramble on about shortly, but decided not to mention Adam's... I don't even know what to call it. Sometimes, it's best to just close your mouth and let things slide under the rug... in this case, I really don't think telling him that would have soothed his aching heart or made anything any better. I still just feel very awkward and uncomfortable though, which is why I'm writing about it at all.
Anyway, on to business that matters. Last night, Emily and I went to Aquarius to meet Rob, who is coordinating a charity bike-a-thon to benefit Camp Sunrise, a camp in Ohio that serves children affected by HIV infection and AIDS. Rob actually got together so many sponsors and partners, and even got the Mayor to start the ride. The best part is, she contacted him and asked if she could, he didn't even approach her! Rob and I chit-chatted a bit about how great it would be to get all these different LGBT organizations talking and involved with one another so that we can all do more together, and it was so encouraging to hear someone say it out in the community, in the "real world" so to speak. Anyway, I got home and fooled around til I went to bed (insert awkward sex proposition), then woke up this morning and set off to work. Thus far, I have e-mailed everyone who attended Take Flight (WSU's Leadership Retreat) asking them to support the ride, and also made a Facebook group and invited everyone in the Dayton area to join. On top of that (which actually took a large chunk of time) Chris messaged me on Facebook, from Campus Pride, and we chatted a bit about the beastly application process for Campus Q (There are an obscene number of questions on it) and he casually mentions that he's thinking of asking me not to be a state ambassador, but rather a REGIONAL ambassador. Let me explain. A State Ambassador would represent Ohio... every college in Ohio from Dayton to Columbus to Toledo and everyone between and outside. Well, rather would serve I should say, not represent. A Regional Ambassador would serve campuses in Michigan, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, Indiana, and Kentucky. That's kind of a scary thought seeing as how I've never been to West Virginia, Virginia, or Kentucky, and it makes the prospect of trying to understand and help them out a daunting one, but we all have to start somewhere I guess, and really if I want to represent the national LGBT community one day, I guess six states is laughable. So, bite the bullet right?
At any rate, right now it seems my excitement and passion are on par with my run-down tiredness, because I feel very in between. I'm not doing crazy amounts of stuff, but neither have I done nothing... I'm waffling in between, but I think I need to get to a resting point and take a bar night with some friends to cool off, so then I can not feel like I'm in a funk. It's just crazy looking at how much opportunity and need there is in my community, and my head is so full of possibilities that I can't just grab one thought and focus on it. Today, I took care of the Bike-A-Thon, next is that damn Campus Q application... after that will be my breather time, and I'll think about the rest of the world tomorrow.
Oh, and note to self: See if I can book Vernon Wall to come speak in February... maybe BSU will be more likely to co-sponsor him during Black History Month.
Anyway, on to business that matters. Last night, Emily and I went to Aquarius to meet Rob, who is coordinating a charity bike-a-thon to benefit Camp Sunrise, a camp in Ohio that serves children affected by HIV infection and AIDS. Rob actually got together so many sponsors and partners, and even got the Mayor to start the ride. The best part is, she contacted him and asked if she could, he didn't even approach her! Rob and I chit-chatted a bit about how great it would be to get all these different LGBT organizations talking and involved with one another so that we can all do more together, and it was so encouraging to hear someone say it out in the community, in the "real world" so to speak. Anyway, I got home and fooled around til I went to bed (insert awkward sex proposition), then woke up this morning and set off to work. Thus far, I have e-mailed everyone who attended Take Flight (WSU's Leadership Retreat) asking them to support the ride, and also made a Facebook group and invited everyone in the Dayton area to join. On top of that (which actually took a large chunk of time) Chris messaged me on Facebook, from Campus Pride, and we chatted a bit about the beastly application process for Campus Q (There are an obscene number of questions on it) and he casually mentions that he's thinking of asking me not to be a state ambassador, but rather a REGIONAL ambassador. Let me explain. A State Ambassador would represent Ohio... every college in Ohio from Dayton to Columbus to Toledo and everyone between and outside. Well, rather would serve I should say, not represent. A Regional Ambassador would serve campuses in Michigan, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, Indiana, and Kentucky. That's kind of a scary thought seeing as how I've never been to West Virginia, Virginia, or Kentucky, and it makes the prospect of trying to understand and help them out a daunting one, but we all have to start somewhere I guess, and really if I want to represent the national LGBT community one day, I guess six states is laughable. So, bite the bullet right?
At any rate, right now it seems my excitement and passion are on par with my run-down tiredness, because I feel very in between. I'm not doing crazy amounts of stuff, but neither have I done nothing... I'm waffling in between, but I think I need to get to a resting point and take a bar night with some friends to cool off, so then I can not feel like I'm in a funk. It's just crazy looking at how much opportunity and need there is in my community, and my head is so full of possibilities that I can't just grab one thought and focus on it. Today, I took care of the Bike-A-Thon, next is that damn Campus Q application... after that will be my breather time, and I'll think about the rest of the world tomorrow.
Oh, and note to self: See if I can book Vernon Wall to come speak in February... maybe BSU will be more likely to co-sponsor him during Black History Month.
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